frank is blogging...

Show Me What I'm Looking For

frank — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 06:00:00 GMT

RECAP: You know what my excuse for not working out yesterday was? I was doing this blog. I am so good at BSing myself. Now today, I actually feel like crap. Mentally. Spriitually. Attitude-ly. Like I don't wanna. I was able to locate and use the television remote… Well, if I am true to my commitment (or is it my experiment?) I must push through and find some music that gets me up. Gets me started. Gets me involved in life. What first?

ON PURPOSE: SHOW ME WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR by Carolina Liar. This is one of my fave releases in the past couple years. And scrolling down my iPod...the C's came early and this is what I'm thinking right now.

"Wait, I'm wrong, should've done better than this"

We have that established, correct? I know when I'm feeling mighty low there's a thousand reasons to not. But the one that trumps it all I can't get put my finger on it. Can't just toggle the switch to off so I'll bounce up. I do like the feel of this tune.

"Save me, I'm lost, oh Lord I've been waiting for you, I'll pay any cost, save me from being confused"

Maybe the song's about another person, but right now it's about me. This song is right for the moment. Right for the movement (of me).

"Show Me What I'm Looking For"

It's a prayer. It's a beg. It's a plea.

ON PURPOSE: DARE YOU TO MOVE by Switchfoot. When I typed "movement" above, I had to get to this greatness from Switchfoot.

"I dare you to move, I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor"

Beside it segueing perfectly with that song from Carolina Liar, I need this message. A reminder that I can lay in bed and I can type my feeling all day long, but then what? Then what?

"Welcome to the fallout, welcome to resistance, the tension is here"

Keep going Jon Foreman. Keep me engaged...

"Between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be"

A swift kick in the backside is something I need once in a while. A reminder that I was built to be a productive member of society. That I can crawl off the couch and actually lace up my shoes. And go do.

"Where can you run to escape from yourself?"

For the first time today, I not only think it's time to go get a good sweat on. It's not an option to not. This song has stirred something inside of me that is craving for something to prop me up. When the negative Frank decides it's not worth it, and finally comes the positive Frank to steamroller that loser side of me. It recreates an entire chemical reaction. Something is flowing inside of me that squelches my thoughts of inadequacy.

Reminds me of my interview with Sharon Shy/The Ropes who suggested everyone have a five minute cap for wallowing (listen in here). And you should hear Jon Foreman/Swtichfoot comment on this song (listen in here).

ON PURPOSE: MAN IN THE MIRROR by Michael Jackson. I am not of fan of any mirror. Not physically. No socially.

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, then make a change"

I can't tell you the last time I heard this song. Right now, I'm glad I have it. While I normally take subtle, personal lyrics and transform them to global proportions, here I am internalizing this widesweeeping message down to my personal battle today. I guess when I am comfortable looking at myself and who I am on all levels, life will be more inline with why I am here…and how I interact in the world.

SHUFFLED: THIS IS THE FUTURE by Owl City. I hardly know this song. Had to look at the screen (after it played). Thanks iPod shuffle god.

"Wake up on your own, and look around you cuz you're not alone, release your high hopes and they'll survive, cuz this is the future and you are alive"

Simple lyrics. Not really an uptempo song. More along the lines of Dare You To Move…and it's right on target.

"Dive in and swim away, from your loneliness and miserable days"

Even when I'm searching for some true motivation, I don't need the loudness. I need something that speaks volumes inside of me. If I can, on a daily basis, find music (or anything) that draws my central communications to that inner force that is screaming to be noticed, then I will succeed. I will live. I will fulfill.

SHUFFLED: TOUCH by Eager. A veracious reminder that I am not out of the woods. Nor am I alone.

"Danger ahead, i's always been said, the night is watching, waiting, for us to turn it's way instead"

I like the vibe of this tune (former PFR guys). And I am good with the idea that I can start feeling great, yet I must remain on my toes because around the corner lurks unpredictability. Patiently (eagerly?!) waiting for my guard to drop. Not today boys, not right now…thanks to

"So I rebuke the darkness, and I lift up my fear, believing they will disappear"

Nothing every completely "disappears," does it? Our brains are too complex to not hold the memory of people and events and ideas and issues. Tangled webs in our heads and hearts that we use as our defense mechanisms. They can come in handy, and they can strangle.

"Beyond the third dimension, beyond what I can see, I cannot Touch what touches me"

I love thinking about what's "out there." Be it good. Be it evil. Be it God. Be it nothing. There's a part of me that wants all the answers right now. First off though, I must strap on my helmet. Hit the pavement.

Hey music…thanks for the lift.

Lost! with Vertigo and Schizophrenia

frank — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

RECAP: Yesterday I woke way later than normal, but wanted to make sure I worked out. Good day.

ON PURPOSE: AMERICAN EULOGY by Green Day. I went straight to this song today. Because this still feels like a world too big and moving too fast for everyone to keep up.

"I don't wanna live in the modern world"

But I kinda gotta. The way Billie Joe Armstrong keeps bleating that lyric, I just want to gather up all my friends and tell them to relax. Let's have a drink and figure out our real priorities in life. How many cars does one family need? How many gaming systems? How many friends do I have to keep in touch with on Facebook? Next song please.

ON PURPOSE: NOT ENOUGH by 3 Doors Down. Why do so many people I know complain about how hard they work, and how little they are paid?

"Seven days underpaid gotta give it up, got no time for this life that I'm livin' up, shackled down, kicked around, now slave to the grind, id some time for myself."

Trust me when I say, I don't make much money. But I love doing what I'm doing. I figure there's a bunch of people searching for meaning. Listening [in] to various entertainment to further our individual and collective quest. What happens on our search is we get sideswiped with having to keep up. Moving all over this great earth keeping up. Keeping up with what? Keeping up with whom? Right now, I'm sick of it.

"Meet tomorrow today just to get ahead, jump the gun on the run, I'm the only one, who think that I'm fallin' behind?"

No, you're not the only one. We (men) don't like to admit this especially in a group, yet it's the elephant in the room. Is it because I'm supposed to be the provider? I want to be. I want the world knocking my door down. But at what cost? I interviewed Dave King/Flogging Molly recently, and you will be interested in what he says about "being a man's man" on their interview page.

"But there's not enough of me."

Hear some great conversation with Brad Arnold of 3 Door Down and myself (listen in here), we talk about this subject in various places.

ON PURPOSE: LOST! by Coldplay (with Jay-Z). Yep, there's plenty of times where it seems every message I get is, "You're a loser Frank."

"Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost"

Am I the biggest loser? Weight-wise I wanna be. Attitude-wise I want to be a million miles from it. It's not easy in this competitive world. Artists have a great perspective on how we all try to get along in today's society. Thank God for songs like this, where Chris Martin reminds us that we're all the same. We all want it all.

"And the question is, 'Is to have had and lost, better than not having at all?' "

When I feel lost, I just want curl up like a snail and slime off to nowhere. I fight this fight with songs like Lost!

"Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost"

ON PURPOSE: VERTIGO by U2. I'll take any mix or version of this song. And I will give the max amount of volume which my surroundings and my earbuds can handle.

"The jungle is your head, can't rule your heart"

Just like those first three songs I've listed today, my head can start caving in on my soul. I can't let it. I won't let it. Even typing that makes me feel stronger.

"It's everything I wish I didn't know, except you give me something I can feel, feeeeeeel"

I don't know or care if Bono's singing about God or a friend who can lift us out of the chaos. Either way, the desired result is met. I can handle most of what life has to throw at me, but when I get caught in an unanticipated whirlwind I need a hand to pull me out. I thank my wife and other friends who've used the long arm of love to help me stabilize. And I thank the long arm of bands like U2 dedicating their lives to touch other's lives with their music.

ON PURPOSE: SCHIZOPHRENIA by The Wedding. I guess if we're gonna go down the road with Vertigo we might as well experience this song, which brings me to the real issue: me.

"Because I am the one that they warned me about."

When I interviewed Trevor Sarver, he spoke about this song (listen in here). There is the point in each life (each day? each event?) when we have to make a choice of how we're gonna tackle something. With power and resolve? With courage and strength? I know I am a man who can reason each side of any issue...

"I curse and praise in the same breath, which man in the mirror is the one that's left?"

How do I find the truth? How do I know when voice inside of me is speaking through my heart? I'm dizzying myself up just thinking about.

"The only thing holding me back was my pride"

Right now I'm in this place of questioning everything in my mind, but not will to reach out. Oh, yea, pride definitely throws up road blocks in my path. I guess I need plenty of inertia and momentum to stay on track.

Music and messages like this are the fuel I need to keep motoring through life.

Break Me Down

frank — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

RECAP: Yesterday, I exercised quite nicely. It was sunny. I blew up the tires on my bike, put on extra layers. Oh, it was good to be outside getting a sweat going.

SHUFFLED: GLASS TO THE ARSON by Anberlin. I don't remember what this song is about, but I did interview Stephen Christian from the band about it (listen in here). For sure the song tears it up. And just from the time I've spent with Stephen, I know there's greater meaning to lyrics likes these.

"Calm me with your lies your simple tragedy, it's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall"

I can have just about any Anberlin song hit my ears, and it will transport me to a higher place.

SHUFFLED: SHE'LL COME AROUND by Kim Hill. I do love this opening line.

"Sometimes life is a riddle, you find yourself caught in the middle"

I don't think it's earth shattering to realize this, but it's a nice reminder you're not alone in a world of many who feel stuck. (Is "stuck" a feeling?) The song about some girl whose searching for more, and letting the world get the best of her (um, who does that sound like?!).

"She builds a wall of anger, she can tear it down. With a little love She'll Come Around."

I'm a sucker for the female rock voice, and this early release from Kim Hill and her acoustic rock sucked my searching soul right in. So I still keep on my iPod for the sucker and searcher in me. And the love quotient she sings about, is love this answer [Todd Rundgren]? I'd like to think it is, but my interview with the aforementioned Mr. Rundgren spoke about it (listen in here). By the way I would like to think love could turn everything around. I'm just not so sure right now. Life is much more than that four letter word.

SHUFFLED: I STAND FOR NOTHING by The Ropes. This song burrows it's way into my high school mind, that I'm slightly off center. And that no one understand me. I'm good with that.

"In America and globally, been hearing, Hey, it's not just me. Do you hear us? Do you hear, Mr. Authority?"

I interviewed Sharon Shy about this song (listen in here). When I first started to understand I thought differently, it's like I was on an ugly island. I was never the "stick it in the face of the man" sort of guy…I was always good at bottling. I could bottle it up. I can bottle it up. What did I stand for in high school?

"It's gonna be different, do you fear it? Do you fear it? I stand for nothing you would understand."

What do I stand for now? This song Rocks On Purpose. And I want to. Sometimes, it's like I never left high school.

ON PURPOSE: LOOK MAMA by Howard Jones. After The Ropes got me thinking about life in my teens, I sought out this song on my iPod. Again, I ask when songs like this enter my sphere, "am I still in high school?"

"Look mama I love you, but you gotta let me live my life."

I don't know that I love the tune, I do love the idea that some parents have separation anxiety worse than dogs. They may not bark nor chew holes in the furniture, yet the destruction they cause on a kid (i.e., young adult) trying to leave the nest can paralyze. "You never call. When are you coming over?" I understand as a parent now, or more accurately, I am trying to understand how hard it will be when my kids are no longer at home. I hope I'm raising them to want to go out and do more in the world. To experience all life has to offer. I want them to seek their own purpose and make living worthwhile. I do not want them to be wondering if their parents are ok with their next step. Don't get me wrong, I want them to consider me when they get a White House invitation or tickets to see Kiss on their final, final, final, final farewell tour in 2035.

"Let me learn it my way. You think you know more than me, experience hasn't set you free."

We all have to learn to fly on our own. Fly. Fly away. And come back for a good meal now and then…

SHUFFLED: BREAK ME DOWN by Red. When I'm at my wit's end, I hope this song shuffles it's way to the top every time. The just reminder that I cannot fix it all.

"Break Me Down, replace this fear inside, take this nothingness from me"

My microphone time with Jasen Rauch (listen in here) has been primo. He's such an honest and rib-cage-open dude with lyrics. With our conversation. He absolutely has problems, and coincidentally, so do I.

"I try to find myself, I find the stranger trapped inside"

I always like the way Red's music creeps up and blast my conscious brain into oblivion. From my ears directly to my heart. Directly to the empty part of me that wants to wallow and sink. Songs from Red are like an underwater inflatable life preserver.

"I want to find, I want to shine, I want to rise"

As long as I have my iPod, I can breathe.

Mess Of Me

frank — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

RECAP: Yesterday, I didn't spend much time listening in to music. I did do a cool interview wth Matthew Mayfield, which will be up soon. I also spent a ton of time on the backside of our website...trying and hoping folks find real value with our interviews; enough to donate some $$ for it. Life right now feels like a beginning. Onto my ears...

SHUFFLED: MR. WILLIAMS by 5 Chinese Brothers. So this is the first song that entered my mission of rocking on purpose 2010. I remember when my buddy Esa turned me on to this band, and I just poopoo-ed it because it was mostly relationship based stuff. Cool though. This is the one song that I pulled out, and noted.

“From the land of miracles comes Mr. Williams, and he says don't give up - he says don't give up”

I can use those sentiments. And of course, we’ve heard them forever...including lately everybody thinking DON’T STOP BELIEVING from Journey is the sweetest song ever (it’s not). I don’t know much about 5 Chinese Brothers (it’s actually three guys I think), but I know this song jingle-jangled through my earbuds to set the right pace. There is a tinge of religiosity to it, but it doesn’t get in the way. I like these lyrics too:

“Here is the man who gets his job done in a hurry, destroys all fear and transplants all worry”

Wouldn’t it be nice [Beach Boys] if there was a fella who really could do such things? The final lyrics make it the point of my year to be.

“For a change do something out of the ordinary”

Yes. I think I’d like to take the path less chosen.

SHUFFLED: GOIN’ DOWN by Three Days Grace. On the elliptical machine, here comes this perfect song for my anger. My pissed off-ness of how I got here. I had know idea who it was at first (which is bonus for me).

“You walk all over me, you never thought I'd be the one who's laughing now, now that you're going down”

See, I think there’s some sort of evil force that keeps me from doing or being great. Call it laziness. Call it comfortable. Call it the devil. I don’t care. I must be more tuned into that deep cavernous voice that repeats how I deserve the down time. Down time only keeps me down.

Now down is goin’ down. Yea!

Just put up my new interview with Adam Gontier (listen in here) and he’s battled his demons. His addictions. I sure think this song is speaking to the darkness rather than one specific person. Either way, I’m happy it increased my speed, and my sweat.

SHUFFLED: NEVER AGAIN by Smile Empty Soul. I always know SES from the get go. I love Sean Danielson’s ability to dredge up his inner truth. I’ve only heard this song a few times, because it’s from their almost lost project entitled “Anxiety.” My copy came from him. He’s another guy whose told me he’s fought off addictive behavior (listen in here).

“No, I'm never gonna let it beat me down again”

That chorus picked up right where Three Days Grace left off...does my iPod know my mission?

“A side of me is a dark cloud, and it needs to be released, so it can change what I'm about”

I don’t consider myself hateful or even a gloomy sort of guy, yet I have those moments. And I think they bounce around in me more than I like. My wife sees that. I do feel blessed for my life. My family. My health. What would happen if I had more light in my life? And can I control my weather? I’m not a meteorologist, but I do think the sun can shine more often than not. I do think songs like this one remind me that it’s me who finds the blue sky. It is tougher in the winter though, that whole light deprivation thing. I guess that’s why I’m exposing myself to this sort of music and messages...to fight when the nighttime last too long. Sunny here today though.

“And I don't know why I seem to always let it get the best of me”

Glad the chorus comes back to end this cool Rock On Purpose!

SHUFFLED: TO THE WATER by Maire Brennan. My wife loves this song. And it’s because of her, I even have it on my iPod. Thankfully I do. I’m a sucker for Celtic Woman when I see their concert on PBS, and I always liked Clannad (Maire is also Enya’s sister). This song is beautiful to say the least, and it touches my spirit.

“Clouded the sky I see, make my eyes crystal clear, walk with me to the water”

My spiritual side craves truth and hope and peace. I think music, be it loud or soft, can reach well beyond the sounds of silence [Simon & Garfunkel]. I’ve skipped over this song when I’ve wanted some volume to pump me up for some activity. I never will again. To sit quiet, to regroup and allow songs like this to wash over me can prepare me for anything. Anything.

NUDGED: MESS OF ME by Switchfoot. I’d heard the latest Switchfoot song, but here it wiped me clean off the ordinary table.

“I am my own affliction, I am my own disease”

Booya! (and I never say that) ...Jon Foreman can nail it in the fewest words. And those are the first words we hear in this song. How about that? To realize we are the ones throwing all the obstacles in our paths. And I for one, get tired of hopping and skipping around, trying to avoid all the obstructions in this life.

“I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me, I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive”

I’ve been privileged to do open microphones with Jon Foreman a few times (listen in here), and he was the first to introduce me to “entropy.” (Google it, or you can hear Jon addressing it during one of our interviews.) I have the inconvenient ability to mess something great up, and then what’s even worse, completely shut down. It’s not pretty. And I’m not proud of it. I go 12 rounds with it daily. I, for one, don’t think my battles are fair.

My main defense is music and words like MESS OF ME. Get this song. Turn it up. Get your life Rocking On Purpose.

Couldn’t sing it any louder in my car, “I wanna spend the rest of my life alive!!!”

Right now, I think I’m more among the living.

Let's Go

frank — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

I have spent much of my life searching for music that reaches beyond. I have said, more than once, “Music can change people’s lives. Music can change the world.”

Do you think that’s true? Am I really convinced it’s true?

I am want to go day by day listening [in] to songs that speaks to my soul. That nails me. That moves me. That motivates me.

More accurately, I’m going to be searching for things that make my life rock. Music that actually has me, Frank Jenks ROCKING ON PURPOSE. So I will fill my iPod with music that I’ve discovered and deciphered which dives deeper into our collective souls (pun intended). I also hope others, like you who’ve had songs elevate your life, lift up even more music that I will seek out and have it do some heavy lifting for me.

Now if there is a bunch of us who want more out of life, and want more for others in this world...it will be proof positive that music definitely can change lives. For the better.

So more specifically, what do I need to work on? Give more grace. Eat healthier. Be more positive. Exercise when I don’t feel like it. Drop pounds. Get more work done. Let creativity flow. Volunteer more. Shine more light. Feel more secure. Be a better husband. Be a better dad. Watch less crap. Find more meaning. I have to stop typing...

Will music do it? Can I do it?

And if I am to believe my own words (and work), I am going make a pointed effort to surround my sounds with what pushes me to greatness.

I will list the songs that illuminate my soul. If you want to comment, or suggest, or rail, or layout some screed...there’s time and space here to do so.

Welcome. I am on a music mission for life and love and lifting. Let’s go. (Hey, will that old song from The Cars work?).